tiring laziness

Another bunch of pictures taken in San Sebastian during these last few exceptionally sunny days.

All pictures taken with: Olympus Pen E-PL3 and Panasonic Lumix 20mm f/1.7 ASPH.

© Lilly Schwartz 2014

© Lilly Schwartz 2014

Doing nothing is apparently very tiring business.

© Lilly Schwartz 2014

© Lilly Schwartz 2014

The victims of sunshine.

© Lilly Schwartz 2014

© Lilly Schwartz 2014

All roads lead to … rome?

© Lilly Schwartz 2014

© Lilly Schwartz 2014

Aimless wandering.

© Lilly Schwartz 2014

© Lilly Schwartz 2014

Greeting rituals. The two-legged and four-legged kind.

© Lilly Schwartz 2014

© Lilly Schwartz 2014

It seems as if they are fairly confident that the storms have subsided for now, since they are rebuilding the railings at the promenade.

© Lilly Schwartz 2014

© Lilly Schwartz 2014

The guy on the right was taking a picture of the beach. No street photography with crutches, for sure!

© Lilly Schwartz 2014

© Lilly Schwartz 2014

Little bit of a self-portrait. Obviously I’m the singular shadow.

© Lilly Schwartz 2014

© Lilly Schwartz 2014

A common sight across from the beach and still heads turn and pictures get taken.

 

My journey to Düsseldorf is approaching faster than I imagined. Of course the travelling itself isn’t exactly pleasurable, but at least it’s a direct flight and I’m looking forward to seeing my old home. I lived in Düsseldorf for several years and studied there during my undergraduate. For years I’ve considered Düsseldorf my home even while I was living abroad in England and Spain, and even while living in Berlin. Whenever I actually visit Düsseldorf I am soon reminded though that my home is lost to me. Home is not a place, but rather a combination of the person I was during the time I lived in this special place where I managed to feel at home for some unknown reason. I have tried to find a new home elsewhere and failed both in England as well as in Berlin. And by now everything is different: the person I was, changed, and “my” Düsseldorf has disappeared. Düsseldorf has now a mall – I used to be happy that it didn’t have one -, shabby neighbourhoods have been gentrified, friends have moved on and away, or broken up their relationships that seemed so eternal back then. My old department at the university has new professors, and old mentors moved on to new departments. New buildings on campus have appeared, just as new places to dance tango have been brought into being. Other places where I danced are different now and some have disappeared entirely. And to make the alienation perfect: I don’t even dance tango anymore. Yes, these days I have again been thinking about home and what it needs to build one. I still have no idea, whether it is routine, social embeddedness, comfort, family, or a combination of all of these factors, but I know that my old home is gone, although Düsseldorf is still there. Nothing more strange than to be “at home” and feeling homesick nonetheless. Would it change if I stayed long enough, if I actually returned home for good? Who knows. I know that for now I cannot return and I will leave it at that. Maybe at some point I will even succeed in creating a new home for myself somewhere else.

Visiting my lost home will, as always, be somewhat strange, but I’m looking forward to it nonetheless. I will spend some time with my dad, go to one of my favourite museums and hopefully see a few friends as well. And of course I will use the opportunity to take some pictures. I have to say that lately I’ve been feeling somewhat uninspired photographically. I don’t know whether it was just the weather or to some extent also San Sebastian – the sameness of rich people, the ever same people who push their babies or old people through the streets, the ever same grumpy facial expressions, the ever same scenes of people with phones, the ever same people with dogs, the ever same furs, the ever same umbrellas, the ever same limited range of streets when the weather doesn’t permit longer wanderings and so on. I already have a plan of how to remedy this situation with a new project, but I first want to finish a couple of my old projects before I embark on this new one. Besides, it definitely is a project best undertaken with good weather. So, until I can put these aspirations into practice I hope a change of scenery will also give me some much needed inspiration to tide me over somewhat of a dry spell. I say it again, winter just isn’t the time for street photography, and here it doesn’t matter whether the wildlife is hiding from the cold or from the rain. Whether I am in Berlin or in San Sebastian, all I can do when the weather is dreary is to pick up a good book instead of my camera.

Comments

  • Nice pics as ever with the trusty EPL3 and the words: ‘nothing more strange than to be at home and feeling homesick’!

    • Lilly Schwartz

      Thanks Steve!

  • For some reason, I enjoyed this batch of pictures (and text) even more than usual: perhaps it was the return of good weather. Thanks so much, and hope you ‘recharge’ at Düsseldorf to your satisfaction.
    P.S. Loved the photography of the human and canine pairs connecting.

    • Lilly Schwartz

      Thanks Subroto! I guess it’s much easier to capture “stories” when the weather is good. People just don’t linger when it’s raining and uncomfortable outside.

  • Jeff

    I really like your shadow self portrait photo.

    • Lilly Schwartz

      Thanks Jeff!

  • Ralf D.

    Nice, a new story…
    … and new ideas? Being to confident is killing creativity.

    • Lilly Schwartz

      Weeeell, confidence is one of those topics … I am generally very harsh on myself and too much self-criticism is just as harmful to the creative process as too little. I think one needs to find a balance between not letting oneself get too confident and being confident enough to keep working. Another thing to consider is that there is a sort of plateau in almost any creative endeavour. If you master a genre or a technique then at some point it’s very difficult to progress and any further improvement comes only in form of unexpected insights and through serendipity. On some level it’s even difficult to maintain a high level of engagement. Eggleston once said that he needs to shoot 2 or 3 rolls of film a day only to keep in practice. I notice that for myself as well. If I take a break I always need a few days to get back into the swing of things.

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