among bears © Lilly Schwartz 2011

For anyone who knew me about 5 years ago it might seem strange to hear that I don’t drink coffee anymore. Back in the day I used to drink a lot of strong coffee. I also used to be quite insomniac which I still am sometimes when I’m stressed. In those days I would fight my resulting tiredness with a cheaper version of Red Bull. I was literally buzzed on caffeine most of the time! Now, don’t expect me to lecture you about how bad coffee is for you and how not drinking coffee has transformed my life. No, I love coffee and not drinking it sucks. I miss the taste, the effect, I miss feeling awake. Without coffee you don’t feel awake, you rather feel just not so tired as when you’re really tired. It’s different. People also tell me that it seems like quite a personality changer. I used to do a million things, usually at once, I used to seem upbeat, almost chipper. At least that’s what people tell me. Now without the coffee … not so much and, well, people have commented on it!

I might suffer from not being able to stomach coffee, but Ezequiel doesn’t. So, yesterday we went to Butlers and bought a nice little coffee maker for him. Now the smell of coffee wafts through my flat and I can at least enjoy that! Butlers is on the Kurfürstendamm which is one of the big shopping streets in West Berlin. There are also cafés, restaurants and theatres, not only shops.

The girl in Butlers was talking to the woman in front of us in the queue while packing her purchases. “I never used to like kids until 2 years ago, but then my best friend got pregnant and that changed.” The woman in front of us said: “Well, same for me, before something like that happens you just have no connection to that sort of life, right?” – “Well, yeah, I’m 28 now and my friends are starting with this sort of thing now. I guess it’s about time …” – “Well, first we all want to change the world and then we just have a kid or two. That’s just fine too, right?  The woman finished paying and then walked out of the store. About a minute later the shop assistant was running after her. With all the chatting she forgot to pack one of the items the woman bought.

I found it quite strange that in the midst of all the chitchat a profound insight revealed itself. People settle for the good life rather than opting for revolution. I also sometimes wonder what my 16-year-old self would think of me now.

Yesterday’s picture was taken just a little down the street from Butlers. If you walk around that street you will find lots of statues of bears and every one of these statues is decorated by a different country. You’ll find funny ones and creepy ones, ones painted almost exclusively in one colour and others with lots of different colours. All have the same base with the same funny tail, but all look different and that’s probably the point of the exercise. The picture shows Ezequiel looking at one of the bears with more bears in the background.